Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.