Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
