I sometimes use a girl singer the way Henny Youngman uses his violin - as a bridge between one laugh and the next.

A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and a delusion. What's so corrupting about that?

What we've discovered is that Americans seem to love our saucy humor.

I used to watch all these great fat women in the audience laughing at the comic, and I would think how wonderful it would be to be that man. He was surrounded by pretty girls, he obviously got more money than anyone else, and everyone loved him.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.