Anything you can do in excess for the wrong reasons is exciting to me.

No, as it turns out, I really like being congratulated on my weight loss. I like it so much, it's tragic.

I waited for my daughter, Billie, to come to me with her troubles - but I'm glad I didn't hold my breath.

If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable.

I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I'm still surviving it, but bring it on. Better me than you.