I'd always assumed that by 40 I'd have at least a modicum of stability - a steady income, an established career, a bountiful fullness, like a pillow into which I could sink as I entered the second half of my life.
I have an Emmy, but it's no big deal: work in TV news long enough, you eventually get one.
I do miss the excitement of seeing history up close, of having intimate knowledge, through direct experience, of what happens when people and governments clash, but I do not miss the danger or the constant displacement.
This is what sexism does best: it makes you feel crazy for desiring parity and hopeless about ever achieving it.
