I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

I was born nine months premature.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.