To avoid ignorance and bullying, I've had to hide the fact that I'm a troll. You have no idea how much time and money I've spent on electrolysis and hair dye and reconstructive surgery so I can look like this.

I can't imagine Jon Cryer performing with the New York Philharmonic isn't one of the signs of apocalypse.

You can't do television shows caring whether or not the network picks you up. You can only do them enjoying the work, because if you're always on pins and needles about whether you'll be picked up, you'll lose your mind. I learned that the hard way.

I try to save being angry for the really important moments - for special occasions.