My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.