You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it.
I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah! That's how it's done!' But for me it's the audience. If I feel connected to them, I have so much fun, and if not, it stinks.
Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.
I remember when I got a part on 'Seinfeld' it was like an out of body experience, I was so excited.
I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.
