"funny"タグの名言

Go slowly, so that you do not bite your tail by accident.

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.

A true friend doesn't have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back.

Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.

Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.

Your kids pissing you off is an inborn instinct. It's nature's way of getting you to kick them out when they turn 18! Okaaay. ~sigh~ Due to the times, you can kick them out between the ages of 28-38. Can someone please dramatically reduce the cost of housing, already? ~SHEESH~

I am not pointing fingers, but rather pointing at the facts, as the facts point fingers regardless.

We should change the name of AR-15s to 'Marco Rubio' because they are so easy to buy

We losers don't fear death. For us it's the end of a lifelong losing spell.

It would actually constitute more than a miracle, he realised. It would take divine intervention plus luck, plus some unknown element of cosmic wizardry.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning.

It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it.

It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us.

Umgangsformen sind Formen, die zunehmend umgangen werden.

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them?

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.

If I looked like him,” Tara said. “I’d want to have sex with myself. All the time.

She moved to pinch me again but I blocked her hand. I'm no expert on girls, but when one tries to pinch you four times, I'm pretty sure that's flirting.