Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Did you see that dress?
If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?
Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist
But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
She's too young for Medicare and too old for me to care.
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Too much agreement kills a chat.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
I lived in Miami for a while, in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead.
Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris.
We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.
