I save a piece of paper that has the indentation of your name on it— your signature... ...move. I knew that I shouldn't have let you push down so hard. Your memory left a mark on so many pages after, if you couldn't tell, as I publish again to press on....
I've lost touch with myself. It seems like she and I have not touched base for ages, I can't remember the last time I talked to her, honest to God. She's always been my best friend—my vicarious better half. It's such a shame, really... I wish I knew what she was up to these days. I really, REALLY do. It's not as though you can close a bond like ours when the room gets too messy; you can't just shut the door. It's common knowledge they'll only open a window ...and sneak out. I don't know where she is now. She could be on a train to the other coast, for all I know. I quit listening to her wishes a long time ago. Shame on me.
Every time you lie to me, I still know your truth. Every time you tell me you're not allowed to love me anymore, I can still hear the gospel behind your tongue. And, that is not my silent desperation; that is your desperate silence.
People promise each other the world until they are not given it. We give until we no longer receive something of equal or greater value. Life and love is nothing more than re-gifting. When we don't like what we get, we save it for someone else, and hope, with all of our hearts, the the next package is better.
I remember when all of my dreams were in rainbow. Now, everything I do I have to Technicolor because it's all become so black and white... so subtle hues, no longer Prismacolor me and you. I sharpen those pencils, but they still come up dull. I shade and shade and shade, but it all comes up a shady review. I miss the rainbow when my dreams were caught all throughout the day; and not just late at night, when I couldn't sleep because everything was dark, and too steep to climb, and only in rhyme because I have not become THAT gray poet.
We all know that nothing can grow if we don't water it. So, sometimes together, we are going to have to drink up. Throw away all abandon and run through the sprinklers. and purposely forget our umbrella in the car.
We don't have a choice of whom we fall in love with. We don't have a choice of whom we fall out of love with. We only have a choice to stay or leave— it's a set menu at a fixed price. But, what if we don't like either of our options?
I forgot my key. The question is: who do I call now? Landlords and locksmiths have become more loyal than you when you're the only other person that I gave a copy to in these places that I can only seem to rent.
I will always remember the integer that opened me up; but it is clear to me that you always forget the final unit, because that's easier than finding out what is left inside when you can't Master Lock me. Go ahead... forget the combination. I'm finally okay with admitting that we were always at a deadlock anyway.
I've been coasting down these open roads alone for so, so long— traveling the roads less traveled on my own, taking in the scenery. But, now I am here to s(t)ay... you can ride in my sidecar, any day.
Little snail, out after a hard rain, hiding in her shell— trying to make it to the wishing well, but being told that she's too small to lift the pennies in... because she did not make them on her own.