I am the living death, a Memorial Day on wheels. I am your Yankee Doodle Dandy, your John Wayne come home, your Fourth of July firecracker exploding in the grave.
The most dangerous place I've ever performed standup is in my home state of California.
If anything, I've thought of myself as Scandinavian. Particularly, Danish. We spoke English at home.
We had all these famous writers in Sweden and from all over the world home at dinner. I wanted to be a writer, and I wanted to be a highbrow writer as my father. He never, ever read anything like crime novels. He wrote biographies of Dante, James Joyce, August Strindberg and Joseph Conrad.
There was a time when I was a huge TV addict. I used to race home from school to watch 'Dark Shadows.'
There's such a fan base for 'Dark Shadows'. I remember watching the show as a kid, but I wasn't an ardent fan. I didn't run home from school to watch it.
I have always wanted to do a show where I could stay home. When you make movies, you might as well take a dart and throw it at a map.
At home it's all Batman and Star Wars and they do gang up on me. Sometimes I don't want to dress up as Darth Vader or play train sets, so I'll go out for a drink with the girls.
I watch football sometimes at home, but in my downtime, I play pool with my friends. Darts - I enjoy darts now, and when there is a game not coming up, I enjoy playing golf as well. I'm not very good at golf, but I enjoy being able to relax.
I make a Bloody Mary at home with a dash of fish sauce, a little bit of coconut, and some lime juice. It gives the cocktail some South Asian flair.
We can only query against that which we have collected. And so if someone has never made a ripple in the pond in Syria in a way that would get their identity or their interest reflected in our database, we can query our database until the cows come home, but there will be nothing show up because we have no record of them.
I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.
Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.
And now, I still really don't care that much but now I have music playing all the time at home, which is a first for me. Whatever. Everything from Ani DiFranco to Dave Matthews to Jack Johnson and Norah Jones.
I have sometimes played my best Davis Cup matches away from home when you stay in the moment a bit more. But it is tough when half the crowd are spitting on you.
It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
One of the things I took from my wartime experiences was that reality was a stage set... the comfortable day-to-day life, school, the home where one lives and all the rest of it... could be dismantled overnight.
I can be high maintenance for my work when I have to look good, but in my day-to-day life, hanging out at home, I'm happy with no make-up on and my hair in a ponytail.
Before deciding to retire, stay home for a week and watch the daytime TV shows.
I wanted to finish my career with one team, in one city, one mayor, one park, one owner. I did that. The Wrigleys owned the team. We played all of our home games at Wrigley Field during the daytime. So my career was very unique, and I am proud of it.
