This was very exciting. I'd never had two boys get into a fight over me before. The fact that one of the boys was my stepbrother, however, and held about as much romantic appeal for me as Max, the family dog, somewhat dampened my enthusiasm. And Michael wasn't much of a catch, either, when you actually thought about it, being a potential murderer and all. Oh, why did I have to have such a couple of losers fighting over me? Why couldn't Matt Damon and Ben Affleck fight over me? Now that would be truly excellent.
If 50 million people say something foolish, it is still foolish.
He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
He was a gentle and sensitive soul, and therefore had a short temper, which is why he went straight after everything with an ax...
People think first love is sweet, and never sweeter than when that first bond snaps. You've heard a thousand pop and country songs that prove the point; some fool got his heart broke. Yet that first broken heart is always the most painful, the slowest to mend, and leaves the most visible scar. What's so sweet about that?
You’re not as sexy as I think you are.” She squinted. Wait. That hadn’t come out right.
Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.
I don't mind if you forget me. Having learned my lesson, I never left an impression on anyone.
But that was life: Nobody got a guided tour to their own theme park. You had to hop on the rides as they presented themselves, never knowing whether you would like the one you were in line for...or if the bastard was going to make you throw up your corn dog and your cotton candy all over the place.
Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul.
Hell's bells, irony blows.
I'd rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans.
Do you sleep naked?
How can such scary looking parents create something so cute?
I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Unusual financial activity: none, unless you count the fact that someone in the family is way too into Civil War biographies. (Can this be a possible indication of Confederate insurgents still living and working in Virginia? Must research further.)
Zoo-Wee Mama!
By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
