"humor"タグの名言

In those moments it's hard to remember that an angry voice is an invisible thing incapable of drawing blood.

Smartass Disciple: Master, I’m going to change the whole world. Master of Stupidity: It changes within you. It changes without you.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,' I said, sighing. 'Is it?' said Veronica, looking surprised. 'Universally acknowledged? Surely that presupposes life similar to human societies beyond this planet, and besides--' 'No, no, it's a quote from ... Never mind,' I said.

In fact we put so many things in our mouths we constantly have to be reminded what not to eat. Look at that little package of silicon gel that's inside your sneakers. It says DO NOT EAT for a reason. Somewhere sometime some genius bought a pair of sneakers and said Ooooh look. They give you free mints with the shoes

The best fiction is true.

Each one of us comes out of our mother's body crying, with or without exceptions. But we are not aware of it. Are you? Do you remember that you cried the very first time you come out of your mother's body? If not, then why are you crying now?

The most popular labor saving device is still money.

Some men can love forever, some for six years, some for six months, and others for six hours.

I need to be casual but not too casual. Dressy but not too dressy. I need him to think I just threw on the first thing I found and that I'm not taking this too seriously or overthinking it or even that I was thinking about it at all. Because I'm not. I'm totally not thinking about him, and I don't want him to think I was thinking about him, but I don't want him to think that I'm not thinking about him, because clearly he thought about me enough to ask me out and it would be mean not to be thinking about him at all, so I need just the right amount of thinking, and I'm not sure if that means boots and a skirt or skinny jeans and ballet flats. Help!

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.

I never talk back. I listen and always remember your every word, so come pen or mouse, never forget that I will treasure your thoughts forever. Yours truly, Paper.

I point out truths when I see them, Brightlord Sadeas. Each man has his place. Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts.

There's nothing more aggravating in the world than the midnight sniffling of the person you've decided to hate.

When boy likes you, you say no thank you. You don't kick him on the ground.

Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.

Women have no appreciation of good looks-at least, good women have not.

If you're explaining, you're losing.

i realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl...because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol

The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.

Humor is the whole truth.