"humor"タグの名言

I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.

YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said. That's what being alive is all about.

Die, die we all pass away, But don't wear a frown coz it's really okay, And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray, But we all end up remains of the day.

When my mother passed away several years ago—well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn’t ‘pass away.’ She died. Something about that verb, ‘to pass away’ always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through the wallpaper. No, my mother did not pass away. She definitely died.

The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he was dead with what looked to me like a broken neck after the ladder had slipped. He’d taken the plunge into his fancy landscaping—complete with rock garden. But hey, his fucking gutters were clean.

Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.

So, sweeting, why were you threatening to throw Tate out of the house? What did he say?” Leather brushed her chin as he tipped it up. Serious dark eyes met hers. “What did he say?” She glanced around; surely the footmen were too far away to hear. “He wanted to join us in our bed.” “I’ll run him through.” “No! Perhaps he only said it to goad you into a duel. Perhaps it was intended as a way to kill you.” “It was an insult to you, love. That can’t be ignored.” “And so you rush inexorably toward death. I don’t care if he stands on a Drury Lane stage and calls me a courtesan, I won’t have you risking your life.

This showed once again that everyone had something different to lose in this battle. Some were concerned for their lives, and some for those they cared most about: rays, sea horses, even the chickens that ran free in the streets of the city because they couldn't all be caught in time.

Neighbours complaining about someone’s dog making an awful racket. You could hardly blame the poor beast, its owner had died in her bed at least a fortnight before and there hadn’t been much left of the old girl worth eating.

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans.

I had never known any man to die while speaking in terza-rima

If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave.

Змейк беседовал в углу с двумя металлами, недавно пробившимися из глубин Земли и не имеющими понятия о формах жизни на ее поверхности. Со всей вежливостью принимающей стороны он занимал гостей беседой, но трудно было сказать, насколько эта беседа занимала его самого. Собственно, Змейк собирался рассказать анекдот, однако необходимая для понимания анекдота преамбула даже при лаконичности Змейка потребовала не меньше минуты: — Люди состоят из соединений углерода и потребляют кислород. Смерть есть прекращение химических реакций одного типа, — Змейк поймал на себе взгляд Гвидиона, которого явно заинтересовал его учитель, дающий определение смерти, и спокойно закончил: — и начало совершенно иных химических реакций.

When I die I hope it may be said: 'Her suffering was black, but her books were read'.

I would have had to kill him, and Death, you know, keeps secrets better even than a guilty Roman.

In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!

A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board. Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy for over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness? Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.