"humor"タグの名言

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way. - Breeze

I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It's so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn't have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons.

Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it'd be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains.

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.

He turned to Frank who was trying to pull his fingers out of the Chinese handcuffs… “Okay,” Frank relented. “Sure.” He frowned at his fingers, trying to pull them out of the trap. “Uh, how do you—” Leo chuckled. “Man, you’ve never seen those before? There’s a simple trick to getting out.” Frank tugged again with no luck. Even Hazel was trying not to laugh. Frank grimaced with concentration. Suddenly, he disappeared. On the deck where he’d been standing, a green iguana crouched next to an empty set of Chinese handcuffs. “Well done, Frank Zhang,” Leo said dryly, doing his impression of Chiron the centaur. “That is exactly how people beat Chinese handcuffs. They turn into iguanas.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.

If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later.

You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.' 'No I mean it. You don't look good.' 'This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped.

I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.