"humor"タグの名言

Two things that matter to me. Emotional resonance and rocket launchers.

I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.

At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.

Cause I'm Irish, and everyone remembers me.

Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out of his wits just for the fun of it. --Laurie

‎No people whose word for 'yesterday' is the same as their word for 'tomorrow' can be said to have a firm grip on the time.

This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.

What? It’s not my blood!” “Let me see it,” Julian demanded, and a moment later there were sounds of a scuffle from the back seat. “I am AB positive and this is distinctly type O blood!” Ty finally shouted at him. “Look at the little Os!

In the world according to Garp, we are all terminal cases

Harry Dresden. Saving the world, one act of random destruction at a time.

If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be ...

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn't devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent.

There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sounds egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity.

Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive.

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.