Why not share with the world the way it is and tell them my feelings about my cat, and how I played with my kids, and how addicted to Christmas time I am, and the smell of pine needles and hearing my kids laugh.
For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?
No matter how big a comedian gets, they're ultimately all just a bunch of nerds with their weird insecurities. You realize these are just the people in high school who were making people laugh.
I'll never stop doing stand-up. There's nothing better than getting in front of 2,500 people and making an entire room laugh.
I was a freshman at Stanford University the first time someone called me a 'bama.' One of my new friends from D.C. said it, laughing, and even though I didn't know what it meant, exactly, I got that it was some kind of insult. I must have smirked or shrugged, which made him laugh harder, and then he called me 'country,' too.
The next time you're tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead.
When I'm up there, I'm just thinking that I've got to make them laugh or they won't show up next time.
I think there's a danger that we're moving towards a state where the people we are expected to admire are almost not human anymore, and I don't like that. I prefer it when someone looks like a nice person, and you think, 'I could have a laugh with them in the pub.'
I never wanted to be a model. I never wanted to be a serious actress. I started off doing comedy. I did a stand-up comedy camp at the Laugh Factory, and I started out on Nickelodeon.
I like a guy who makes me laugh, doesn't care about the fame, the show, he just likes me for me, he likes Nicole.
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
I was afraid no one would laugh, and I wanted to pretend I wasn't noticing the audience. I didn't want the audience to get the idea I was telling a joke and waiting for a laugh.
This country wants to laugh. We want to, and we need to. I'm happy to oblige.
My body has been making women laugh for the last 20 years and I'm happy to continue to oblige.
We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
There's an old adage about speakers: You won't remember what they said, but you'll never forget how they made you feel. Trump knows that in his bones. He gives his supporters - and they are growing - a terrific feeling of safety and security, along with a laugh and a smile.
If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the older man who will not laugh is a fool.
If I find something funny and make an older woman laugh, I love that for some reason.
