If we learn not to grab, insist, manipulate, or force then the precious moments have more chance of just appearing, usually when we are not looking. They may even stay a little longer, if we do not grasp onto them insisting that they do not move. With practice, consistency, and commitment to the evolution of the partnership, something beautiful and meaningful has a chance of evolving.
The practice of living in Spirit is like polishing a stone. No matter how rough the stone may have been, with perseverance and gentle care it will eventually shine, revealing the inner beauty and divine essence which was there all along. Within each of us lies a heavenly gem, waiting patiently for us beneath the surface of our conditioning. It is ready to be handled with our loving kindness that it may again shine radiantly and majestically, in harmony with all things in this grand and mysterious world.
Much misery in caused in relationships by the expectation that the other person can and should be a personal provider of good for us. This expectation brings an endless array of problems and is one which we need to outgrow as individuals who are seeking freedom from the troubles of the human condition. No person is able to give what only divine Love can give. Relationships, of their own power, cannot give us the love and happiness that really have a Divine, not human, origin. We don’t ask from other people what only God can supply.
Sacrifice is when one selflessly gives up something in service or deed for the undeserving, expecting nothing in return. It is selfish to desire anything from sacrifice. However, selfishness in its honest form is just.
Giving one's partner first priority is a choice not an obligation. Under the right circumstances we tend to give more than others deserve. And when they don't appreciate it, that's okay; people are prone to take that which they are not entitled to for granted.
My love, I caught sight of you a few moments ago, deep in conversation with a very sober-looking man, and I thought here is a bureaucrat sent by Reality to demand a full accounting, to investigate us on suspicion of fraud... on suspicion of being happy. Yes, there is something scandalous, something privileged and elitist about our love, because two people happily in love always turn their backs on the world; and so I am afraid. (From Laura’s note).
No one has to be a martyr. On the contrary, everyone should be entirely selfish; not selfish in the normal sense of the word but selfish in the way of knowing that the spiritual path means we value everything which adds to our own well-being. When we love, we live with connectedness. When we forgive, we feel stress-free. When we create, we live with inspiration. When we follow our inner direction, we feel alive. Is that even a choice?