What makes me laugh is hearing the stuff about my son or the stuff about my mom. I was a big fan of Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy; they talked a lot about their moms and their kids. Those are the things that inspired me to do stand-up.
My mom has every issue of 'Billboard' I've ever been in.
I had really specific ideas of what kind of mom I was going to be and what kind of things I was going to provide for my child - even down to the organic, wooden toys Birdie was going to be allowed to chew on. Then cut to my daughter being obsessed with every plastic, 99-cent store toy.
My father was Catholic, my mom Baptist, so we were raised Baptist but had a lot of Catholic upbringing: fish on Fridays, no birth control.
I'm a soccer mom. I'm T-ball, soccer, karate, homework, keeping them on their schedules. I love being the snack mom, when I get to bring the cut oranges. I have one of those coolers with wheels. I'm at every game, every practice, sitting on my blanket. I love it.
Whenever I don't get injured, the film is a dud. I didn't bleed on 'Rhinestone.' I didn't bleed on 'Stop! Or My Mom will Shoot.'
I moved from New York to El Paso in 2015, just before my senior year. I was super nervous. My mom, she's in the Army, and she got stationed at Fort Bliss. We packed everything up and drove all the way to El Paso.
My mom is awesome. She's really young. My mom is 40, and she raised me listening to Nirvana and Courtney Love and Coldplay, Gin Blossoms, The Cranberries, and stuff. Like, my early, early memories are of being a little kid running around in floral skirts and Doc Martens when I was, like, three.
I'm Mexican-American. My dad was actually born in Mexico. He was raised up there, and he came back and forth to America pretty much his whole teenage years. My mom is from Sacramento, California, and she's a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. She's a whitey.
My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is African American. I'm half black and half white. Being biracial paints a blurred line that is equal parts staggering and illuminating.
When I was younger we had a grape arbor, and my mom would go out and pick grapes and make grape jam in the sink - boil it, put it in jars, and give it away as gifts.
My mom's the strongest, boldest woman I know.
My mom and I never thought that I would make my way into Bollywood. I was happy doing films down south.
My dad's my biggest fan. When I went to college, my dad came into my life in full-on dad mode. I was doing comedy, and he was so excited for my comedy, whereas my mom wasn't. So we bonded through comedy.
I had massive anxiety as a child. I was in therapy. From 8 to 10, I was borderline agora-phobic. I could not leave my mom's side. I don't really have panic attacks anymore, but I had really bad anxiety.
I pretty much borrow my entire beauty regime from my mom.
I remember playing in my mom's closet with Kim as little girls - we had this game we played, I was Donna Karan, and she was my assistant, and I was really bossy.
My mom would have different fragrances for different times of the year. They were a part of her identity. I don't remember the specific ones she used, but I remember the bottles.
I was actually the one who decided to move to LA. Mom and I were driving on Sunset Boulevard during one of our trips back to see her family, and I said, 'Can we just stay?' So we did.
We'd get these boxes of clothing in the mail, and my mom would say, 'What makes you think all this is for you? You've got a sister right behind you.' So then I realized, we're all in this together. We have to help each other.
