I can guarantee this to you: every single actor has had a dream of walking on stage on press night and realising that they don't know their lines.
The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.
They saw me, those reckless seekers of beauty, and in a night I was famous.
One of the fears of having too much work is not having time to observe. And once you get recognised, there is nowhere for you to look any more. You can't sit on a night bus and watch it all happen.
Before the Internet, we were in a different sort of dark age. We had to wait to hear news on TV at night or in print the next day. We had to go to record stores to find new music. Cocktail party debates couldn't be settled on the spot.
If I didn't have a recruiting engagement, I was going to be here. I did everything possible to change the recruiting thing. I'm a very small part of this night, but I did want to be a part of it.
For me, when I go to bed at night, I am happy that I haven't hurt someone. And if I think I have, I will rectify it. I now refuse to give someone permission to make me feel bad about myself. They can't make me feel bad about myself if I don't allow it.
Through the years, I have so many wonderful memories of playing with the Red Wings: winning four Stanley Cups, scoring big goals, going into battle every night side by side with my teammates, playing with every ounce of effort I could muster.
I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show.
Writing for late night is really good for learning how to write when you don't want to write. You have to produce every day. It's also very good for refining the difference between your point of view and the host's.
You create a blueprint of your best performance, and you're happiest the night you surpass that blueprint. That won't happen that often, but it will happen. It's like sculpting: you keep refining. When you have a piece that is yours, that is just you, that becomes obsessive; you think about it all the time.
I got a strength coach. My wife. She gets big chains, and at night she puts them around the refrigerator. They are so strong, I can't break them.
My daily beauty regimen is definitely always in the mornings, and at night, always washing my face with a basic cleanser. I also use a moisturizer with SPF to follow up.
Last Friday night, I Twitted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I posted to Twitter I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked. I then continued with that story, to stick to that story which was a hugely regrettable mistake.
Like everybody, I've stayed up at night regretting things - Why did I do that, say that - but at the end of the day, I really do believe everything happens for a reason.
Saturday Night Live is hitting me on a regular basis again. This is my fourth decade that I've been lampooned on Saturday Night Live.
In the story I eventually called 'Archangel' and published in 2008, Eudora MacEachern, working as an assistant to a surgeon at a hospital in Archangel, one night finds outside the gates an exhausted and frostbitten soldier crouched over the reins of a pony sleigh carrying the body of another soldier.
You can't reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at 'Late Night,' we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, 'I see you behind a glass desk.' I don't. And he's like, 'Yeah, the glass desk.' I go, 'I don't really see me as a glass desk guy.'
I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling rejected by the American people. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night worrying about the war.
I remember lying in bed one night when I was 15 and deciding I was ready to go into acting properly. I'd put it off until then because I didn't feel I was ready to handle the rejections.
