There is a part of us that knows the timing of any relationship. It knows things that we cannot work out. It knows when to say yes. It knows when to say no. It knows when to wait. It knows when something has finished. It knows when something has started. It knows when we have a responsibility to another person. It knows when the ties are untied. It will not betray us or another.
It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man. Imagine you're starving, and someone puts a huge buffet in front of you. There's delicious, mouth-watering food all around you, and it's really really hard not to eat it all. That's what it's like to be a man around attractive women. The urge to want to hump everything that moves is part of a man's natural programming. It's a deep-seated hunger. To suppress that hunger takes civilization and a lot of willpower.
If love isn't there, nothing will grow. If it is, there is always hope and it will win in the end. Love is vital and sacrosanct.
You can have a pet zebra and put that zebra into a small cage every day and tell the zebra that you love it, but no matter how you and the zebra love each other, the fact remains, that the zebra should be let out of that cage and should belong to someone who can treat it better, the way it should be treated, someone who can make it happy.
Through our conflicts with our partners and spouses, we can open up important new channels of communication and make discoveries about ourselves (and them) that lead to more complete and realized visions of our futures.
We live in a period where people spend more time trying to influence people they don’t know, neglecting the people who are next to them craving their attention.
Being a nurse, I’m well trained in being careful with the language that I use. Words have power. They can keep someone calm. Or they can freak someone the fuck out when they’re in a bad place. They can keep someone at a distance. Or they can bring them close. It’s why I resisted when he suggested I call him by his first name. I was keeping him at a distance. But apparently my subconscious has been telling me this whole time that I shouldn’t do that.
Your relationship should not be a battle field. It should not be an uphill struggle. Your relationship should not be what's keeping you cold inside. Your relationship should be a warm space, a safe space, a home. The skin of your soul. I have seen too many people lose their warmth, their mental health, the skip in the sound of their laughter; thanks to the relationships that they are in. When this happens to you, it's time to know that you've got this one life, and how are you going to spend it? There is a love that's for you, and that one is just not it anymore.
I rested my chin on my paws, wondering if she’d ever be able to open her heart to another man-human. I knew firsthand how hard it was to try again, to let yourself be loved by someone who could love you back after you’d been hurt. And I knew sometimes when someone said mean things if you were sensitive you couldn’t shake it no matter how much you knew it wasn’t the truth.