Your pain is a school unto itself–– and your joy a lovely temple.
For God to prove himself on demand, physically, would be a grave disappointment, and the strongest Christians should be considerably grateful that he chooses not to do so. The skeptic endlessly demands proof, yet God refuses to insult the true intelligence of man, the '6th sense', the chief quality, the acumen which distinguishes man from the rest of creation, faith.
If you are willing to be a self-learner, you will develop yourself.
Uniform of a soldier and uniform of a student both are equally needed for the nation.