Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling.
There's the 7-year-old me that pretended to be Wonder Woman running around the schoolyard. Like, what an incredible thing to imagine that when the bully shows up or the villain, you would be strong enough to do something about it. But, also, you look like Lynda Carter while you're doing it - like, 'Oh, my God.'
I want a woman to feel the cut of the scissors in the clothes.
The other day, I was taking part in an audience Q&A when I was roundly scolded by a woman for 'allowing the BBC to ruin the English language.' Naturally I felt terrible, as I had no idea either that it was happening or that I was responsible.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
There's a famous saying: 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' I want to change it to 'Hell hath no fury like a nation scorned.'
I am a black belt in martial arts. I like to drink scotch. I go skydiving. So I never really saw myself as a woman or a minority. I just went out there and did my thing, and it didn't even cross my mind.
Ask any woman who has gone through a divorce and had her standard of living decline substantially. Ask any woman who's been fired or 'reorg'ed out' and had to scramble to take a job she didn't want. Ask any woman who wanted to quit a job but couldn't afford to. Investing is possibly the best career advice women aren't getting.
I used to live in an old historic shipyard town called Trenton, Michigan, and a month after I moved in, I started hearing this woman screaming my full name at three in the morning, every night. Finally, on the seventh or eighth night, she screamed it again, and I woke up.
If a woman earned a dollar by scrubbing, her husband had a right to take the dollar and go and get drunk with it and beat her afterwards. It was his dollar.
What I have yet to see is a real woman choose a younger man because he spent six hours a day at the gym trying to sculpt his abs.
And the sculptor woman was so clever in the way she did it. She had the beret just about to leave my hand. So it's attached to this finger and that's what will keep it there. And I'm looking up at it, so there's no question but that that beret is going to fly.
I remember someone telling me that when he saw the back of a woman's head, he knew that was the woman he was going marry. I laughed that away as silly talk. But I guess when a relationship has to happen, it happens seamlessly. Your partner just walks into your life.
Whether a party can have much success without a woman present I must ask others to decide, but one thing is certain, no party is any fun unless seasoned with folly.
The seasoned woman is going to offer a more seasoned character.
A woman comes to a table, and you're supposed to get up. Period. But I don't always do it. In general, you're supposed to do it every time. But sometimes you're seated against the wall, and it's awkward.
A man will talk all day about the woman he wants, but should he come across that woman, he'll do something stupid like cheat on her with the kind of woman he was trying to get away from in the first place. It's not a lot of second chances granted in the realm of that.
I've always felt I had to prove myself, and now it has become second nature. When I first went to university, I took lodgings with a woman who said, 'What are the chances of you staining my pans?' I said, 'I don't think I understand the question...' and she said, 'When you cook your curries.'
I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same.
Women make natural anarchists and revolutionaries because they've always been second-class citizens, kinda having had to claw their way up. I mean, who made up all the rules in the culture? Men - white male corporate society. So why wouldn't a woman want to rebel against that?
