I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.
I was broke from 19 to 26, borrowing money from my parents or my brothers or sisters every week to pay the bills.
I try not to cheat on my boyfriends when I have them.
If you're really looking to hurt somebody's feelings, just break up with them.
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting.
I was the youngest of six kids, and my brothers and sisters were kind of a lot older than me. And the one sister that was, like, in a close age range - she was five years older than me. She was my closest sister in age, and she was a loser.
MTV is known for their huge budget.
I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.
You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big bummer.
When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.
There's only so much you can say about celebrity, obviously.
I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.
Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.
I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.
I once waited on a group of 10 people, and one guy collected the money from the check and tipped me $20 on $600. I told him in front of everyone, 'Jews like you give Jews like me a bad name.' That was my last waitressing job.
I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.
I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.
Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.
