You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
she: Before we got married, you told me you were well-off. he: I was, and I didn't know it.
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.
Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a male is when he's a baby.
There's another advantage in being poor. The doctor will cure you faster.
By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.
