Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.
If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
