I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!
I was only a few years away from becoming an overnight success.
I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.
Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.
I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.
I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.
I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
