I started working full time as a comedian in 2005, shortly after we did the Vince Vaughn 'Wild West Comedy Show.' I worked at the Four Seasons hotel from 1998 to 2005, so about seven years, just trying to put some food on the table and pay the rent while I went out to the open mics and got my feet wet with stand-up comedy.
Revising stuff lately, I was shocked to see how often my characters scratched their ankles, felt their feet, and touched their own ears.
One of the first records I bought for myself was a Keith Whitley record. I still love the 'L.A. to Miami' album. There were so many things on there - 'Miami, My Amy,' 'Ten Feet Away,' 'Nobody in His Right Mind Would've Left Her.' I can put that album on repeat and listen.
One of the Life Saving men snapped the camera for us, taking a picture just as the machine had reached the end of the track and had risen to a height of about two feet.
My family can tell you I'm not really a guy that likes roller coasters. I don't like going on Ferris wheels. I've got a six-feet rule; I like my feet no more than five, six feet from the ground at all times.
Once when I was standing at the base, they started rotating the set and a big, heavy wrench fell down from the 12 o'clock position of the set, and got buried in the ground a few feet from me. I could have been killed!
When you're pregnant, make sure your husband rubs your feet - and your neck and your back and everything.
The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.
For the two hours I climb on stage, I become the schoolboy. But as soon as it is over, I get off stage and go home and get told to wipe my feet before I come in.
I grew up with a pretty tough mom. She was a self-appointed neighborhood watchdog, and if she saw that any of the local boys were up to no good, she would scold them on the spot. Although she is only 5 feet 2, she was famous in our neighborhood for intimidating men three times her size and getting them to do the right thing.
I joined the army because I was a very self-sufficient young man. I always wanted to stand on my own two feet.
I had a job transcribing a biotechnology-litigation seminar. You put headphones on and fast-forward and stop with your feet. There were a lot of 'um's.'
I played Little League. I was a 'pitcher.' But we had a pitching machine, so I was just basically an 'in-infield' shortstop because all I got to do was field bloopers six feet from the plate. I couldn't hit, so that was pretty much my entire job.
I've got a little arthritis that I have to deal with. I was 6 feet 7 when I started, and I've shrunk up a little bit. I'm probably 6-5 or so now. But up here at 82, I feel pretty good. I'm sticking in there.
I like to keep my feet on the sidewalk.
Scientists have proven that it's impossible to long-jump 30 feet, but I don't listen to that kind of talk. Thoughts like that have a way of sinking into your feet.
Despite my love affair with skyscraper heels, luckily for my feet I rarely wear them - preferring, instead, the comfort and child-handling practicalities of a pair of trainers.
For 'Avengers,' in the Albuquerque desert, we shot New York there. And I was standing on a platform, nine feet high... and it was the rooftop of a skyscraper in New York. And it was all desert around me!
I'd say my best memory was climbing Mt. Fuji, and the worst memory was... trying to fit my feet into the free giveaway slippers at Japanese schools.
I've seen my fair share of drama over the years of Children In Need. I had a close brush with mortality in 2009 when a chain collapsed from the studio rigging. I was in mid-spout to camera when I heard an enormous crash behind me - a ton of steel had come hurtling down and smashed to the ground a few feet away.
