I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life.
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
The panda is a funny, lovable animal, which defends its territory well. It's strong but calm. It suits me perfectly.
A big part of becoming a funny person was a major defense mechanism. Onstage, especially as a woman, I've had to be really tough. The second you show a crack, the audience can literally leave.
I was just a ham since about the age of five. If I was performing at Medieval Times or something, I'd be the court jester. That was always my defense mechanism. I was never all that funny; I was just obnoxious and loud.
Yes, I've seen Louis CK. I wouldn't in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there.
I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.
I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
I've told so many stories to so many friends of mine. I have friends in Pittsburgh, in West Virginia, and in Indy. That's three different demographics of people, and they all laughed, so I assumed that if I find something funny and all my friends find something funny, I hope people everywhere will find it funny.
One of the most fun characters I played on a television series, which didn't last long... was a show called 'American Gothic' that Shaun Cassidy created. I would have loved to have done that show forever. That character was so funny yet demonic. It was really good writing and a really good idea. I loved all the people on the show.
It's funny because I want my teeth to be, like, neon 'Real Housewives' white, but mine have stopped taking to teeth whitening. When I talk to my dentist, I'm like, 'They can be that white,' and he's like, 'Veneers can be that white.'
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
