It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
The funny thing is while the grown-ups in the family may indulge, we really try to offer our son Duke clean food, as all his meals are made with organic ingredients as the rest of us eat cookies straight out of the freezer.
Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard.
I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they're in show business.
I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at an English prep school. So the way to get round it was to become the school joker, which I did quite effectively - I was always fooling around to make the people who would otherwise dump me in the loo laugh.
I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.
Learning to be your natural self in front of five cameras and a silent studio takes time. Trying to be funny under duress is probably a lot like trying to play golf relaxed under pressure.
It's so funny to get a call from Dustin Hoffman because he has that great voice.
I really like 'Passion of the Christ.' I like that movie. I also like 'We Were Soldiers,' and 'Braveheart.' And 'Napoleon Dynamite' - that movie was funny.
It's funny. You succeed, but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time.
Earl Hebner used to call me 'Tiger,' so I went with the last name Woods because I thought it was funny. I'm a huge fan of X-Men and, just, intelligence in general, and the leader in charge is named Prof. Charles Xavier. I took Xavier from him and put together the two names.
There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.
Like with 'Parks and Recreation,' it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had.
My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool.
I've written 'Eclipsed' as a funny story. It is completely bonkers.
It's kind of a funny way to put it, but if you want to study a dynamic economic system, what you'd like to be able to do is focus on the linkages, say, between asset markets and the macro economy without having to model everything at the same time.
I love storytellers. When I was growing up, my inspirations were watching Eddie Murphy, Dennis Wolfberg, and Louie Anderson. These guys were great at telling stories, and I made that my own style, talking about things that happened to me and trying to make them funny.
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.
I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing 'Saturday Night Live' and could only wonder if I would ever have the chance to be funny. It took me five years to go up the two stories, but it is such a sense of fulfillment to be able to show what I can do on national television.
