I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.
We never really tried to shock for shock's sake on 'Family Guy'. If something was horribly offensive and shocking, we would put it in if it was also hysterically funny.
Here's the funny thing about the response I've been aware of to my dating famous people: It's been very negative. I'm either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough for these people.
I had it just Lil Nas at first because every rapper has a 'lil' in front of his name, and that's funny to me. But then I got stuck with it because I already built a fan base at that point.
I just find all that stuff incredibly funny. I love a fart. I'd do anything for a good poo story.
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.
It's funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film 'Death Sentence,' and I got back with him again in 'Inside Llewyn Davis.'
To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even see them because of the lights. And yet you have to manage to start talking and be funny on top of it.
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
'Matilda' is my favorite movie of all time. It's so funny. It's about this girl who's so independent and smart, and she has to learn how to get through all these challenges she faces, and she gets through them all so well.
It's a funny thing when you finally have an excuse to get all of your favorite people from all corners of the globe together in one room for my wedding. Other than saying 'I do' to my hunky Englishman, that is the thing I am most excited about!
I guess one that wouldn't be obvious is - well, maybe it's super obvious, I can't tell - 'I Love Lucy' is my favorite show, going back to when I was 4. I've watched every episode I don't know how many times. It was something to watch women being funny when I was young.
My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.
I love Felicity Jones. It was funny because I went to go see the 'Rogue One' set, and I was like, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And she's so tiny, and elegant, and she's just so small. Everyone's so much smaller than they seem.
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.
