I don't think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny. I started doing stand-up to add another level to my game. I feel that I'm a young rookie with a veteran's skill.
I feel as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved.
Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
Poor people are too stupid to know they're just chess pieces in a game.
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
The truth of the matter is that chess is not the game of life because life does not ever happen the way you strategize and plan.
I felt that chess... is a science in the form of a game... I consider myself a scientist. I wanted to be treated like a scientist.
There are too many Jews in chess. They seem to have taken away the class of the game. They don't seem to dress so nicely. That's what I don't like.
I'm a Chicago Cubs fan. I grew up in Libertyville, Illinois, and attended my first game at Wrigley Field when I was four.
When you play the Oakland Raiders when you're the Kansas City Chiefs, you know they're going to come out with that mentality that they're going to win. They're going to come out fighting. It's a rivalry game.
I am pretty chill before games. Have a go-to routine that keeps me busy until we are ready to take the court so I'm not just sitting around anxious for the game.
I'm always drawing, so Draw Something is a cool game to play against your friends when you're bored and sat chilling out and relaxing.
Playing football, I'm getting chills just thinking about it. That first knock of the game, you are going on kickoff, and you are just trying to smack somebody just as hard as you can. That's how I play baseball. I want to hit you.
I think it's very important for the Chinese people, the Chinese government to build lots of hockey rinks, bring some coaches here and learn the game, and I think they will do well.
I don't think there's any serious discussion inside the Chinese government about liberalising. I don't think anything's going to change in China until enough Chinese say, 'We're not going to play this game any more.'
I'll always have a chip on my shoulder until I hang my shoes up. No matter how long I play this game, the chip on my shoulder will always be there. That won't change.
This is part of what makes me, ahem, an excellent houseguest: I'm game. I'm flexible. I'll make you feel okay about eating an entire chocolate cake in one sitting because I'm right there by your side with my own fork.
Everybody has some part of their game that is easily influenced to choke.
I'm on a team with LeBron James and Chris Bosh, and they both dress well. It gets competitive. If I don't bring my A game, they're going to outshine me.
I was nine or 10 years old and my father was sacked on Christmas Day. He was a manager, the results had not been good, he lost a game on December 22 or 23. On Christmas Day, the telephone rang and he was sacked in the middle of our lunch.
