Jocks usually aren't smart. Their muscles feast on their brains.
Dear Asshole: Thank you for keeping your word and believing me. It was more than I expected. Also, I'm sorry you were inconvenienced by my gluing your locker shut at the beginning of this year. However, I am not sorry that I did it, because it was a lot of fun. Love, Alex.
[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.
I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
Becky Renee Apple - can you believe her mom named her that and then had all of her sweaters monogramed with 'BRA'?
I’m not an idiot, Kenji. I have reasons for the things I say.” “Yeah, and maybe I’m just saying that you have no idea what you’re saying.” “Whatever.” “Don’t whatever me—” “Whatever,” I say again. “Oh my God,” Kenji says to no one in particular. “I think this girl wants to get her ass kicked.” “You couldn’t kick my ass if I had ten of them.” Kenji laughs out loud. “Is that a challenge?
See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.
My geekness is a-quivering.
There must be something wrong with those people who think Audrey Hepburn doesn’t perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that’s not true. I n fact, I hiccup more than most.
Oh Blimey O‘Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on. What light doth through yonder window break? It's the bloody moon, for God's sake, Will, get a grip!!
Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are?
You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?
Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that.
How did you kill the Ashman in the forest last year?” “I shot him with an arrow.” “What kind of arrow?” “A sharp one.” Nate rolled his eyes. “Really, dude? A sharp one?
In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw.
The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.
Not daring to flee since my general location has just been broadcast to any killer who cares. I mean, I know it's cold out here and not everybody has a sleeping bag.
Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins.
The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.
