"humor"タグの名言

What's the point of being a grown-up if you don't get to be immature?

Opinions are like onions. They spell similarly, usually have many layers, and tend to make people cry.

The only reason there's such a thing as a morning in the first place is to keep night and afternoon from bumping into each other. -Kheldar

Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.

Your mum pounced on her and started sucking away. Would’ve been arousing if not for all the screaming.” “Ian,” Bones drew out warningly. He grinned. “You’re right. I was aroused anyway.

See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of shit? That's why I look interested.

Genius is of small use to a woman who does not know how to do her hair.

And if you say that's because you lot barged into her home like a herd of mentally deficient sheep, I'm disowning all three of you.

But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

What’s next? The size of my cock?” “Hey, even pencils can get the job done—I’ve heard the moaning from your room to prove it.

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

I am too tired, I must try to rest and sleep, otherwise I am lost in every respect. What an effort to keep alive! Erecting a monument does not require an expenditure of so much strength.

Oh shit, the mummy's after us, let's all walk a little faster

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much.

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.

He awoke at six, as usual. He needed no alarm clock. He was already comprehensively alarmed.