"humor"タグの名言

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads.

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.

I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything.

Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises.

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.

As my father always used to tell me, 'You see, son, there's always someone in the world worse off than you.' And I always used to think, 'So?

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it? Ford: We're safe. Arthur: Oh good. Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.

I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.

You fuck - you ate my cat!

Almost everything strange washes up near Miami.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.

Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all.

I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win.

He gazed amusedly down the table at Tessa. “You’re the shape-changer, aren’t you?” he said. “Magnus Bane told me about you. No mark on you at all, they say.” Tessa swallowed and looked him straight in the eye. They were discordantly human eyes, ordinary in his extraordinary face. “No. No mark.” He grinned around his fork. “I do suppose they’ve looked everywhere?” “I’m sure Will’s tried,” said Jessamine in a bored tone.

Accidental sex. He made it sound like I fell down, and there just happened to be an erection in the way.

That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days. You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean....Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE.