I get burnt in the sun, so there's no point me getting pecs for when I take my shirt off in the summer.
I see friends who are in different genres of music, and they say they're so burnt playing the same stuff every night. That's why you see a country act wanting to go out and play an old classic rock song. But what cracks me up is that they all want to be Jimmy Buffett. I can't figure that out.
I remember my first 'Sports Illustrated' shoot was with the photographer Walter Iooss, and Julie Campbell was the editor, and we were at the president of Mexico's private house in Cancun - this was before anything else that's now in Cancun even existed. And they told me to get a tan, so I spent all morning in the sun, and I was burnt.
Some of my most important musical experiences were from a burnt CD with songs my friend downloaded for me at a terrible digital quality.
I think when you're young and have that first burst of energy and make five or six pictures in a row that tell the stories of all the things in life you want to say... well, maybe those are the films that should have won me the Oscar.
I need that on stage. I need a burst of life. That's entertainment for me.
I got my love of animals from the Dr. Doolittle books and my love of Africa from the Tarzan novels. I remember my mum taking me to the first Tarzan film, which starred Johnny Weissmuller, and bursting into tears. It wasn't what I had imagined at all.
When I was flying to Rome, we flew over London; I felt like bursting into tears. It's part of me, so I can't leave London behind for good.
Dead people never seem to address the obvious - the things you'd think they'd be bursting to talk about, and the things all of us not-yet-dead are madly curious about. Such as: 'Hey, where are you now? What do you do all day? What's it feel like being dead? Can you see me? Even when I'm on the toilet? Would you cut that out?'
I love oatmeal. To me, it's not boring. I agree that ordinary oatmeal is very boring, but not the steel-cut Irish kind - the kind that pops in your mouth when you bite into it in little glorious bursts like a sort of gummy champagne.
I realized that theater was the perfect thing for me, in short bursts of intense community building.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Burt Reynolds, the first time I met him, he introduced me at Madison Square Garden at Wrestlemania X.
'Evening Shade' was such an eye-opening experience. I was 19 when I went on that show. I had barely had an acting class. So as Burt Reynolds continued to bring me back for the next three years, I learned so much from him and all the other legends that were on the show.
Since you would save none of me, I bury some of you.
I hated school. Even to this day, when I see a school bus it's just depressing to me. The poor little kids.
Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.
I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
People do more important jobs than acting in film that should be recognised, but for some reason it's big money, so people are elevated in status. If I was a bus driver, I'm sure you wouldn't be interviewing me.
Look at all the buses now that want exact change, exact change. I figure if I give them exact change, they should take me exactly where I want to go.
