I'm tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?
I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.
The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it.
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.
One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
It's easier to write about what you know. I wouldn't write about a Wall Street broker, for example.
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.
Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.
I have two trifling ambitions in the theater: to make a lot of people laugh and to make a lot of money.
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
